No More Excuses! (A testimony of one mans willingness to be honest with himself)

John Zimmerman

A great friend of mine, who lead pastors in Rockford, Illinois recently decided to share his testimony in our online men’s group. It moved us all. His willingness to be honest with both himself, and with us, was amazing. He showed a level of transparency that not many of us are willing to share. I can say that I’ve met too few pastors who are willing to expose their struggles to the level that John was. He didn’t show weakness, he was real in his struggles, and he didn’t complain, he confessed. By the end, he testified of how God’s amazing mercy kept him from drowning in the trials. His testimony is POWERFUL, and I believe it will bless you if you read it. So here it is…

Does being transparent mean you are teachable?

I remember a time in my life when I was praying for a teachable spirit. One of my worries as an aspiring minister was that I would become proud and arrogant. I strove to keep my nose low, and my heart open to whatever God wanted to do in my life. As I continued to pray this way, my family and I entered one of the toughest financial times of our lives. Our once very secure, double income, 2 car, mortgage, vacations, and 401k lifestyle was stripped away! All the security known to man was gone. All we had left was each other and our health. Not long after this, my wife’s health also started to deteriorate. It seemed as though all of the “blessings” in my life were falling through my fingertips and there was nothing I could do about it. The image of security that I once held was replaced with one of humility and what may have appeared to others as poor stewardship. Soon we were driving much older vehicles, and at one time I had been given a broken down vehicle to drive. Of course it needed much work before I could even use it, but none the less, it was a payment free vehicle.

After much prayer, pleading, and fasting, our situation did not improve. If I got a job, my wife would be laid off, and when she got a job, I would get laid off. We took 1 step forward and 2 steps back. Still my prayerful seeking and listening continued. I can honestly say that I complained my fair share. I started to fall into the comparison trap. You know when everyone else that spends their money foolishly gets all of the breaks while you faithfully pay your tithe and give, and yet you find yourself continuously broke? That is where I was headed. Into despair. Many people tried to encourage me. Until finally my brother had heard enough complaining.

One day while on a trip home from a very nice vacation (my loving mom paid my way), my brother Jeff looked at me and said, “What are you so angry about?” I then unloaded all of the frustration and misunderstanding in about 10 minutes. He patiently listened and answered, “You think nobody else struggles? Do you really think no one else can relate to what you are going through? Where is your faith?!” He started preaching a much needed sermon to me, and I just listened. Then I started to weep. And I listened some more, I let the word of God sink into my heart and I felt terrible. It was as if I could feel God removing thorns from my inner most being. His word was cultivating me. I was very quiet the rest of the way home as I chewed on the meat that was just fed to me.

Days past and my mindset started to change. I started to think about all of the people I knew that had suffered through things that I thought were not fair. I started to compare myself in a different way. I started to become thankful. Not for what I lost, but for all of the blessings I didn’t lose. I thanked God for my family, for my job, for my car, for my rented home, for anything and everything I could think of. From that point on, I determined in my heart to be thankful if it was sunny outside or if it was pouring down rain. Nothing was ever going to steal my thankfulness again.

So I went on in my journey with my family right by my side. Our financial situation changed. I started to have needs that were seriously too big to pay on my own. Even though my employment was steady now, some 10 years later, I never quite gained my financial independence back that I once had. It was constantly escaping my grasp. So when a big bill came up, I was forced to let people know about it. I did not like asking for help. None of us do. And it is because of the oldest sin in the Book. Pride. But if I didn’t ask, or at least become transparent by not hiding my need, there was a chance that I might never receive the blessing God intended for me. Then it happened. Someone walked up to me and put $100 in my hand. I didn’t know what they were doing and was too afraid to look at it till I got home. I couldn’t believe it, and I thought, why would you have someone do this Lord? Really, I didn’t think it was right. I always thought that I had to work for every single thing in my life. What I didn’t understand was that you can’t earn God’s blessings. They are gifts. They are meant to encourage us to remain faithful. And there is not one person on the face of the earth that deserves them. Especially not me!

Again and again, needs would arise, and people would privately and anonymously bless us. It was overwhelming at times. I could not believe God’s love and patience for us. Then it hit me. After many years of pruning and removing thorns, and cultivating in my heart, I realized that God was helping me to be humble, transparent, and teachable. He was answering my prayers! At times I thought God was mad at me or punishing me for complaining because I really didn’t understand his grace. But even through this, God was showing me what love, grace, mercy, and compassion were all about. He wasn’t mad, and he wasn’t punishing me. He was teaching me. He was allowing me to share in the fellowship of his suffering. I do know that this fellowship of suffering is mainly in the ministering of the gospel, but I also believe that God’s word reaches us in the physical, prepares us in the spiritual, and teaches us to believe in the supernatural. It fully encompasses our spiritual and physical being. Jesus often met the physical need and then the spiritual. He truly cares for us. This is why he tells us to cast all of our cares on him. He wants to take us to the places of struggle. Not so we feel punished, but rather so that we can truly know him and become more like him. What a joy this is! What a blessing it is to learn of God in such a personal way!

Are you ready to become more transparent in your life? Let God teach you how. You may lose your personal security, and you may not even look the same when you are done, but can I give you this one promise? He will be with you all the way! God loves you and it is his deep desire to show you and to bless you.

John Zimmerman

2 thoughts on “No More Excuses! (A testimony of one mans willingness to be honest with himself)

  1. Anonymous says:

    What a testimony many of us can relate to! Saints want to know that our Leaders are REAL and struggle too but we are ALL on the Potter’s wheel being remade for His use, if we let Him! Awesome and God bless his ministry!

  2. Tim ODonnell says:

    Hey Mark,
    This is outstanding!
    Thanks for sharing!
    Best,

    Tim O’Donnell – todonnell@mmoffice.com
    Work Space Consultant – M&M Office Interiors, Inc.
    M. 414.313.1731 D. 262.317.1800 – http://www.mmoffice.com

    [Email Signature Block 2015 – Milwaukee]

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