I’m sure you’ve noticed for yourself that children are young one day and then teenagers the next. This was my experience with my first three kids. Honestly, it’s because I wasn’t very checked in with them, their lives, and their personal development. My life had far too many distractions for me to notice the daily details of my children’s development. If I’m being honest here, there are times I really beat myself up over this. I will say however, it’s really made me stop and take time for my three year old. I see her as Jacob saw Joseph, “the child of my old age”. She’s my special gift, and because of that, I don’t want to miss the daily details.
The reality is, when something isn’t a special gift to us we tend to miss the details. This in turn makes time fly right by us without any real meaning. We will catch the details of our hobbies, video games, movies and TV, the gym and our body, or even our own work place, and all the while the true gifts in our lives are left unopened. This was my life for about 40 years, but not anymore. God used pain and regret to open my eyes and wake me up. Pain can be a strong teacher, and unfortunately most of the time pain is what it takes to wake us up to the reality that life is passing us by. We move through life in a daze, unaware, and even irritated by, the very best gifts we could ever be given.
Unfortunately I don’t have a soft and easy answer for this, other than it’s selfishness alive and well within us all. It’s the reason why I put ministry over my family. I tried to convince myself that God was in the midst of it all, but if you were to ask my kids, I’m sure their answer would be much different. It even cost me my marriage. I guarantee my wife at the time wasn’t thanking God that I was gone again, “doing the Lords work”. This all happened while I was pastoring by the way.
Us humans are so quick to justify our selfish behavior and then force those around us to pay the price for it. I still do it! I’m better about it, but my God, I am selfish. I see it in the small things I do and say. The call I promised to make and then didn’t because I wanted to do something else. Of course then I use the excuse, “I was really busy!” But it’s really just a selfish lie to get the person to not make me feel bad about the promise I’ve broken.
If you’re honest with yourself you’ll see the same traits within you. It could be that you too have lost something that was valuable to you because of it. The real question is, “what are you going to do about it?” The best gifts in your life are most likely still unopened. The best prayer time you’ve ever had still waits for you. The deepest secret you have to learn from the Bible is still there waiting to be discovered. The hug that warms your heart to the deepest parts is still waiting to be received. The, “I love you so much” from the one you want to hear it most is still waiting to be said to you.
You can have all of this, but it will require one thing, you have to stop being so selfish. Or, you can continue on with regret constantly nagging at your mind as life passes you by. Jealousy will be your friend as you see others around you having those prayer times, finding those secrets, receiving those hugs, and hearing the I love you’s. You’ll hate your life as you hold on to it, but you can learn to love it as you let go.
Jesus said in Matthew 10:39, “If you cling to your life, you will lose it; but if you give up your life for me, you will find it.”